Archives For Jesse

Floating in the ocean is supposed to be peaceful. Not today. If I pull my head under again, it might just take me this time. God, I wish it would. Here comes another wave. If I’m lucky I won’t see tomorrow. I won’t have to live with the regret and painful nostalgia that comes with sleepless nights and immeasurable days. I can just float, forever, away from this town. Eventually something will kill me. The wave came down, slapping him in the face and his lungs took in an enormous amount of water. I can’t breathe. This is the end.

Jesse woke with the image of a piece of driftwood floating away as he opened his eyes. Eleven months after leaving Minnesota and nothing had changed. The nightmares; some new, some old. The anxiety, paranoia, and depression; always changing and in rapid cycles. It could take minutes or days to switch, without warning.

As Jesse looked around his room, his eyes went straight to the window; ignoring the unpacked boxes in the corner and his drum set that he never assembled. There was still a smoky haze from the night before as a reminder to look beside him to make sure she was gone.

Damn. She’s still here. I obviously didn’t make myself clear enough last night.

Stretching her arms and arching her back, the sheet that had been covering her naked body was freed, exposing her breasts.

“Good morning, gorgeous,” she said yawning. His eyes shifted down to her dark nipples and he looked away.

“Get out,” he said.

She stopped mid-stretch. “Wow. Okay.” Whipping the sheet back and rolling her eyes, she rose and looked around for her clothes. Lying naked in his bed, he kept his focus on the overflowing ashtray on his bedside table. Picking up her scattered clothes from around the room, she began dressing herself.

“Cool ink,” she said, trying to make small talk.

He rolled his eyes and went to light a cigarette.

“Where’d you get the frog?” she asked, tying the laces of her tennis shoes.

“Why are you still here?” he said. He stood to get a clean pair of boxer briefs.

“You’re just delightful,” she huffed. “Fine. I’m ready. You can take me back to my car, it’s parked at the restaurant,” she said, finally taking the hint.

“Not my problem,” he said, pulling his briefs over his hips and running his hand through his hair.

“You’re not even going to give me a ride!…Oh, never mind. I’ll walk. Really, Jesse, it’s been fun. Dickhead,” she said walking toward the door.

As she was about to cross the threshold she turned back to him. “Oh, and my name is Carly, not Charlie, asshole. Next time you take your next victim home, make sure you have her name right. It makes for an awkward fuck.”


Case File # 121774-3249



Subject Name: Jesse James Anders (Jesse James Sanborn)

D.O.B.: 17-November, 1987

Address: 1816 Burnsville Parkway, Burnsville, MN  55337

Contact: 953-443-4309 (last known working phone, no longer in service)

Single Caucasian Male

0 children/dependents

No religion specified



Chief Complaint from patient: “I’m having troubles with time. I can’t remember when I’m scheduled to work. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel numb. And, I’m drunk.” – Message taken by staff member Shelly Gleason over the phone on September 6, 2012.

Notes: Patient first seen in by Dr. Jackson on August 4, 2003 after complaints of previous doctor not using effective treatment methods. After refusal of psychotherapy, patient has been seen regularly by Dr. Jackson to update his prescriptions.

Initial Diagnosis: ADHD, victim of severe physical abuse by biological parents and two foster fathers before the age of 15. Other Detachment disorders noted, but not specified as patient is reluctant to discuss childhood.

Date of Diagnosis: March 1997 by Dr. Ralph Carlson, MD. before referred to our offices in 2003. (see attached notes from Dr. Carlson)

Current Diagnosis: Bipolar I (initial diagnosis retracted after prescribed medication failures to ease symptoms).

Date of Current Diagnosis: December 2003

History: Born in St. Paul, MN to John and Melinda Sanborn. No known complications with childbirth or mental health history before ten years of age. Father, John worked for a manufacturing plant, and mother, Melinda, a domestic engineer. Mother had a bipolar diagnosis but remained un-medicated throughout patient’s childhood. Have not been able to reach patient’s biological parents for confirmation.

Patient describes his social life before ten as “normal.” Received good grades, had many friends, adjusted well to new situations, etc. Patient refuses to discuss the death of his sister, Mandy, and when asked general questions about his family life through childhood, he chooses not to respond. (see attached interview with father and Dr. Carlson, discussing initial diagnosis and circumstances surrounding “Mandy’s” death.)

Marriage, Education and Occupational History: Patient is single, but dating. One significant relationship to date. Patient is heterosexual with a history of promiscuity with multiple partners.
High school diploma and one year complete of Community College. Social situations through school presented challenges for patient in communication and focus.

Occupational history includes: restaurant industry, warehouse, USA Cycling National Championships cross-country and other competitions, and briefly, The US Marines.

High risk behaviors include: Alcohol abuse, marijuana abuse, aggression, and a history of police confrontation.

Current living/social situation: Lives with friend, Jake, and Jake’s father, Dennis, in a single-family home in suburb of Minneapolis, MN. He rents out a single room in the home. Patient describes social situations as solitary or few friends of note. Patient is highly intelligent (see attached MMPI and Weschler results), but prefers an environment of low risk and low challenge.

Summation and Notes:

Initial visit in 2003: Patient was brought by foster mother, Lily Lamoureaux, to our offices at fourteen years of age. Patient’s overall appearance was clean and appropriate. Eye contact minimal and very few words spoken. Ms. Lamoureaux described patient as “sad, confused and broken.” Patient evasive and bouncing knee with arms folded in front of chest. Posture was slouched and showed ambivalence. Patient was alert, but hostile when asked specific questions of state-of-mind, depression and previous foster care. Ms. Lamoureaux described his past situation as “unfortunate and unloving” and “abusive, neglectful and punishable.” (see enclosed audio recording of initial visit – #A3328)

Anxiety visibly increased in patient as Ms. Lamoureaux described previous foster living arrangements and previous biological parental abuse, along with the death of patient’s sister, “Mandy.”

Initial diagnosis of ADHD by Dr. Carlson in question.

Hospitalizations and Interventions: Patient suffered head trauma as a result of a social altercation in 2012. Previous hospitalizations before in my care are noted in Dr. Carlson’s file (see attached).

Medications: (see full history and side effects attached)

Lithium; 2004-2008.

Seroquel 2008-present.

Lorazepam 2008-present.